I Eat Music

So, now that Rage Against The Machine have made it to Christmas number one, the conspiracy theorists have moved into overdrive. People all over the internet are devoting their Christmas holidays to uncovering the mechanics of the ’scam’. The claim being that the whole thing was planned and run by Sony Music.

“Look at all you people,” the conspiracy theorists say with a smug grin. “You all mindlessly bought into this campaign and you were just lining the pockets of Simon Cowell and his cronies.”

Of course, both Killing In The Name and X Factor winner Joe McElderry’s single The Climb were released and published by divisions of Sony Music and the company stands to gain the most financially. The same was true in last year’s unsuccessful campaign to get Jeff Buckley’s cover of Hallelujah to Christmas number one ahead of Alexandra Burke’s. As rats go, this one stinks.

Then, of course, there’s the question of who Jon and Tracy Morter, the people behind the RATM campaign, are. A couple of people who love music and hate X Factor? Or evil scheming marketing people? There are those who are determined to prove the latter, who will tell you that Simon Cowell’s claims that he offered them marketing jobs after they beat him on Sunday were empty, as they are already working for him in exactly that capacity. His apparent anger at the pair in the last few weeks wouldn’t be the first time that he’d used clunky misdirection to boost the popularity of something (Jedward being just one example).

I have a feeling these questions are going to hang around for some time. But should we care? Is it really that shocking that a company whose sole reason for existence is to sell records – gasp – might have tried to sell us some records.

It’s not the first supposedly grass roots campaign of this type, of course. And not the first with two Sony-owned songs pitted against each other. Or even the first with two Sony-owned songs pitted against each other run by the Morters (though, if you’re looking for consistency in the conspiracy theory, the Jeff Buckley campaign wasn’t them). All of which does make it easy to think this wasn’t as spontaneous as we’ve been led to believe.

Sure, either way, it’s all money in the bank for a major label, but this campaign had to be fought on major label terms. Yes, the message of Killing In The Name can be bent to fit the message of the campaign, and that is partly the reason it was a success, but it’s the major label money that was put behind it seventeen years ago that sealed the deal. There are hundreds of thousands of people out there in the world for whom that song meant something in their teens, and who also grew up at a time when the charts were an exciting and important part of pop culture. What’s more, they’ve also had time to grow nostalgic for both of those things. A more worthy, independent artist is unlikely to have had the fanbase of the right size and age to pull this off.

Even if it was orchestrated by Sony, it still needed that public feeling to work. And the intent of all those people was to stop X Factor’s monopoly of the Christmas number one and make the charts more fun in the process. On those terms, I’d say it was a job done. I don’t think many went in without knowing that both acts were signed to the same label. No one thought they were supporting independent music, surely. It was just something half a million people thought might be funny.

That’s why I forked out 29p. I loved Rage Against The Machine when I was a teenager, my entire childhood was mainly planned around hearing the charts on the radio on Sunday and watching Top Of The Pops on Thursday or Friday, and I think that inappropriate swearing is funny. I don’t think I stuck it to Simon Cowell and I don’t think the charts will be changed by this. Joe McElderry will almost certainly be at number one this Sunday, and he’ll probably be followed by something equally tedious at some point in January. But I don’t care that much.

I did consider the possibility that Sony could be behind the whole thing, but I went and bought the song anyway. If anything, I think this is the sort of thing the record labels should be doing all the time. If all music marketing enthused people like this, maybe things would be going a bit better for them.

Okay, if it turns out the Morters were in the employ of Sony (and I’m still pretty sure they weren’t), all those claims of independence are going to irritate a lot of people. But it’s marketing, people. Even if they were acting alone, they were still running a marketing campaign. Companies lie to you every day and some of them lie to you about things that actually matter.

Bill Hicks used to come on stage to Killing In The Name and rant about the manufactured pop acts of the day, like Debbie Gibson and Tiffany, in a routine that peaked with a scream of “PLAY FROM YOUR FUCKING HEART!” He didn’t care that both Rage Against The Machine and those pop acts were products of the major label system. Still, he also used to say, “If you work in marketing or advertising – kill yourself.”

Simon Cowell has spoken out against the campaign to get Rage Against The Machine’s ‘Killing In The Name’ to Christmas number one instead of the debut single from whoever wins this year’s ‘X-Factor’. He seemed to suggest that the campaign would do little to harm him, but might upset the eventual ‘X-Factor’ winner who has worked so very, very hard to get where they are today.

Of course the cynic in me is whispering that Cowell’s outburst might be a clever ploy to generate more interest in both singles and raise a bit of extra cash for the entertainment group he works with, Sony (whose subsidiaries both released and published ‘Killing In The Name’, as well as working on ‘X-Factor’ winners signed to Cowell’s SyCo label). If that’s the case, I probably shouldn’t even be writing about this. But the teenager in me is screaming that it would be funny if Rage Against The Machine got to number one with their sweariest track. I just don’t know who to trust.

Anyway, at a press conference yesterday, reports The Guardian, Cowell said: “If there’s a campaign, and I think the campaign’s aimed directly at me, it’s stupid. Me having a number one record at Christmas is not going to change my life particularly. I think it’s quite a cynical campaign geared at me that is actually going to spoil the party for these three ['X-Factor' finalists]“.

It is, of course, fairly unlikely that Zack De La Rocha and the boys will beat the ‘X-Factor’ machine, but with more than half a million people signed up to the Facebook group where the campaign is being organised, it could give it a run for its money. Last year, a similar campaign (similar largely in that the real winners were also Sony Music and publishing company Sony/ATV) to get Jeff Buckley’s version of ‘Hallelujah’ to the top spot did result in a number two position for the song. However, Alexandra Burke’s sales of 576,000 units were just too high for anyone to hold back.

Okay, so if everyone in that Facebook group actually buys a copy of ‘Killing In The Name’, it could happen (previous ‘X-Factor’ winners have got the Christmas number one with a lot less than half a million sales). But, as anyone who’s ever done any direct marketing, or organised a guestlist, or tried to sell counterfeit drugs via spam email will tell you, they won’t. What we really need to cross our fingers for is a complete lack of interest in whoever wins the ‘X-Factor’, meaning their sales don’t get anywhere near matching those of Burke’s debut.

Speaking of the crappy pretend music competition, the celebrity guests who will perform with the finalists on ‘X-Factor’ this weekend have been announced. They are Robbie Williams, George Michael and Michael Bublé. Unless Elton John drags George Michael off to rehab before then.

		Perez Hilton reports being attacked (allegedly) by Will.i.am to the police, via Twitter: "I was assaulted by Will.i.am of the Black Eyed Peas and his security guards. I am bleeding. Please, I need to file a police report. No joke. [And later...] Still waiting for the police. The bleeding has stopped. I need to document this. Please, can the police come to the SoHo Met Hotel"
		Simon Cowell responds to former X Factor winner Steve Brookstein's claims of unfair treatment: "He is just a bitter man who the public never warmed to. Steve proved to me that just because you have a winner, it does not always mean that you have a star. Anyone who is signed to my label is given a fair shot, but it's not a guarantee of enduring riches. It never is in any branch of show business"
		Patrick Wolf speaks out against Proposition 8, the Californian legislation that ruled that same sex marriages were not lawful: "Who here wants to get married someday? Who here wants to get married to someone of the same sex? Now what about everyone out there in heterosexual relationships, how would you feel if you got married and then six months later you were told your marriage was illegal?"
		Noel Gallagher has hits out at Oasis fans who took him up on a offer of a refund on tickets for the band's technically-challenged gig at Manchester's Heaton Park: "It seems that around 20,000 of you have asked for a refund from that night at Heaton Park!! 20,000!! So you were genuinely disappointed? I don't recall seeing a 20,000 gap in the crowd. Cheeky cunts! Tsk... some people"
		Beth Ditto comments on being able to get her views out to a mainstream audience: "We come from the post-riot grrrl scene, and when you're suddenly in the UK Top 40, it's a really rad platform. I just hope what we do inspires some totally nerdy boy with glasses in some remote village, or some fat girl who's been told she's ugly, to form a band"
		Moby criticises the current British music scene: "UK music has become very provincial and pub-orientated. The bands look like they're hanging out at the pub and the subject matter is very provincial and pub-orientated - laddish. It's not sexy or exciting and it's not very personal either. It's pleasant music, but pleasant music doesn't make me want to run out and change the world with my records"

These quotes are taken from the 26 Jun 2009 edition of CMU Weekly, what I wrote. That’s the day after Michael Jackson died, of course. Check out the whole thing here.

		Pearl Jam's Eddie Vedder says he thinks Kurt Cobain would have turned out to like his band's music had he lived: "I don't think Kurt understood us at the time, but we became friends and I'm glad we had some of the great conversations we had. If Kurt were around today, I know he'd say to me, 'Well, you turned out OK'"
		Steve Brookstein criticises Simon Cowell's treatment of fellow X flopster Leon Jackson, who was dropped by Sony Music last week: "If they cared about Leon they would have announced his departure after his tour and not before it, and not put comments from Simon into the press saying 'Rhydian should have won'. I'm surprised he allows the public to vote when they've only got it right once in four years"
		Chris Cornell defends his new solo album, after it was criticised by fans and critics: "Older American fans don't like it because they are typically my core fans that really supported me in Soundgarden and really loved that band. To them that's kind of who I am. I'm thrilled with the album that I made. I think it's really exciting. As a songwriter and creative person, I have to do what makes me happy"
		All four members of Jane's Addiction may be back together again, but Perry Farrell says old grudges are still causing tension: "It's very awkward. I have seen [bassist] Eric [Avery] maybe two times in 18 years very briefly, one time we almost got into a fist fight. We're all getting to know each other now to see if we've all changed for the better, if we can like each other"
		A lot of people have tickets to see Michael Jackson at the O2 Dome. Coldplay's Chris Martin isn't one of them: "I was looking at it on the internet and thought, 'I'd better buy some for myself' and I couldn't. They were totally sold out. To sell out like that is a testament to talent. It is just amazing to sell out 50 shows in one city in a big arena. It's the biggest comeback since Lazarus. It's good news - but not for me"
		Do you have strange thoughts after watching adverts? Devo frontman Mark Mothersbaugh might be responsible: "I have written music for around 400 commercials, with clients that range from Coke, BMW, Mercedes, Pepsi, Target, McDonald's, Burger King to Taco Bell - probably a good majority of the evil empire. When I was younger, and occasionally today, I include subliminal messages"

These quotes were taken from the 27 Mar 2009 edition of CMU Weekly. Read it in full here.

Okay, this story is getting confusing now. I thought Dannii Minogue had already left ‘X Factor’. Or had been sacked, or whatever. Victoria Beckham was being touted as a replacement recently, despite the tension between her and Cheryl Cole, who is definitely a judge on the show. Or is she? Maybe not. Not if Dannii is sacked anyway. Which she apparently hasn’t been, even though we all thought she had. Are you following this? I know I’m not.

Anyway, a source told The Sun: “Cheryl told Simon straight – if it’s not her and Dannii together, then he’s looking for two new stars. There’s no way he will let them both go. The show was a bigger success than ever and Simon knows a lot of that is down to Cheryl”.

‘X Factor’ bosses have apparently denied many of the rumours surrounding the show and confirmed that they are currently in talks with Minogue about renewing her contract. Which means she is staying. Possibly.

This article originally appeared in CMU Daily on 25 Feb 2009