I Eat Music

Okay, so I refused to talk about Lady GaGa last week, but she’s number one in both the single and album charts this week, so I guess I’m going to have to. For everything worth saying about Lady GaGa, see the previous sentence.

Elsewhere in the singles chart, there’s very little going on. It’s not until we get to number 17 that there’s a new entry – it being ‘Embers’, the first single from Just Jack’s forthcoming new album, which is due out in June. The next is another Jack – Jack Penate – at 23 with ‘Tonight’s Today’. Then at 28 it’s Doves with ‘Kingdom Of Rust’. Down at the bottom end, Pink steps into the top 40 from 56 with ‘Please Don’t Leave Me’, Flo Rida gets another song in the chart, ‘Sugar (feat. Wynter), at 35, and Lady Sovereign enters at 38 with ‘So Human’.

Over in the album chart there’s similarly very little going on. Flo Rida’s second album, ‘R.O.O.T.S’ is a new entry at five, then the next comes from Leonard Cohen with ‘Live In London’ at 19. Lionel Richie and The Commodores’ ‘Definitive Collection’ goes in at 23, while PJ Harvey and John Parish’s second collaborative album, ‘A Woman A Man Walked By’, is in at 25, and down at 35, Metro Station make their entrance to the album chart. On the Re-entry front, Pink’s ‘Funhouse’ is back in at 33, White Lies’ ‘To Lose My Life’ bobs back up to 37, and Nickelback’s ‘Dark Horse’ is in at 40.

The most interesting chart position this week is that of the Pet Shop Boys’ new album, ‘Yes’. Last week there was talk of them missing out on getting the number one position because the album was released three days early on iTunes, meaning that the first rush of sales did not count towards its official first week on sale. It seemed like a ropey excuse for not selling enough records to me, and any hope that the duo might sustain sales high enough to see them rise up to the top now seem dashed, as this week they’ve slipped all the way down to number 21. Maybe some sort of collaboration with Lady GaGa would help them to appeal to a wider audience. Oh wait, didn’t they…

The chart is compiled, even on weeks when its completely boring, by The Official Charts Company.

This article originally appeared in CMU Daily on 6 Apr 2009

Lady GaGa is still number one in the singles chart. Let’s not even talk about that.

Let’s talk about Noisettes, who are at number two, because that’s actually quite exciting. After years of slogging it out, winning people over with their storming live show, and releasing their much underrated debut album, ‘What’s The Time, Mr Wolf?’, things finally seem to be paying off. Of course, it helps that the single that’s doing it for them, ‘Don’t Upset The Rhythm’, is a great pop song that sticks in your head without being annoying (for an example of the opposite, see the aforementioned Lady GaGa).

Also up in the top ten this week, after a couple of weeks of loitering at the lower end of the chart, are Metro Station with ‘Shake It’. Apparently it is possible to reconcile the combination of punk rock tattoos and very mainstream pop, though I can’t look at the video for that particular single without entering some kind of stylistic feedback loop in my head.

Moving down the singles chart, other new entries come from Steve Angello and Laidback Luke at 12, Lily Allen, with ‘Not Fair’, at 16, KIG’s quite stunning badly named ‘Head, Shoulders, Kneez & Toez’, which moves from 41 last week into the chart proper at 18, White Lies, who are up from 84 to 34 with ‘Farewell To The Fairground’, and Jennifer Hudson, who moves from 54 to 37 with ‘If This Isn’t Love’.

Over in the album chart, the Pet Shop Boys, as predicted, suffered from having their album released three days early on iTunes and only made it to number four with ‘Yes’, despite being well ahead in the early midweeks. Which means that Ronan Keating’s tribute album to his mum remains in the top spot for a second week, while Kings Of Leon go up one place to number two, and Lady GaGa goes up to three from seven.

In terms of new entries, aside from the Pet Shop Boys, the album chart is a little bottom heavy this week. Röyksopp go in at 21 with ‘Junior’, Pearl jam’s remixed and remastered edition of their debut album, ‘Ten’, goes in at 29, Ladyhawke’s really very good debut album re-enters the chart at 32, matching its previous highest position, and Mastodon’s new album, ‘Crack The Skye’, is in just below at 34.

The charts are compiled by The Official Charts Company. The clue is in the name.

This article originally appeared in CMU Daily on 30 Mar 2009

Now, you know me, I’m not one for being cynical, but Lady GaGa was in the press a lot last week, talking about how she used to be a drug addict, how she loves being naked, how she used to be a stripper, and so on. And now her single, ‘Poker Face’, is at number one, despite it being awful. But I’m not saying those things are connected, after all, that single has been rising up the charts for weeks. It’s like the charts were in the olden days, when you could get to number one just with sheer persistence. And I guess Christina Aguilera not being around much at the moment helps, too.

Anyway, GaGa’s at number one, then Flo Rida holds fast at number two (don’t worry, I’m not about to suggest that Pete Burns suffering kidney failure has helped him, it’s just a very catchy tune), and the two Comic Relief singles, the Bryden/Jones’ cover of ‘Islands In The Stream’ and The Saturdays’ cover of ‘Just Can’t Get Enough’, drop to three and four respectively. Beyonce, meanwhile, breaks into the top ten, stopping at number nine with her new single ‘Halo’, despite it not being officially released as a single yet.

Outside the top 10, La Roux just misses out, hitting 11 with ‘In For The Kill’, as do the Pet Shop Boys, who make it to 14 with ‘Love Etc’. Another single not officially released for a few weeks yet, AR Rahman and The Pussycat Dolls’ collaboration for the ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ soundtrack, ‘Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)’, is at 20. Franz Ferdinand’s new single, ‘No You Girls’, rises from 52 to 27, though with it being featured on the new iPhone ad, I’d expect to see it go higher this Sunday (it’s certainly got itself stuck in my head). And rounding off this week’s new entries, Enrique Iglesias and Ciara stop at 30 with ‘Takin’ Back My Love’.

Over to the album chart now, and U2 have quite embarrassingly been knocked off the number one spot (and right down to number six) by Ronan Keating’s tribute album to his mother. An album coincidentally released the same week as Mothering Sunday. Mums don’t like U2, they like ballads. Everyone knows that. Which will be why Bette Midler has risen from number 21 to number nine this week, and Lionel Richie is another new entry at 10. CMU Weekly’s recent competition prize for the mums of readers, Barry Manilow’s ‘Greatest Songs Of The 80s’ faired less well, only making it to number 22 – though possibly because people were waiting to see if they’d won it before buying it, rather than the fact that Manilow’s 80s covers only serve to remind you that the originals were much better.

Probably not a new entry powered by mums is Pete(r) Doherty’s new solo album, ‘Grace/Wastelands’, which goes it at 17. You have to travel right down at the bottom of the chart for this week’s final new entry, ‘My One And Only Thrill’ by Melody Gardot at number 40, but before that there are some re-entries worth noting. Following an actually quite good edition of ‘The South Bank Show’ on Will Young, the singer’s latest album, ‘Let It Go’, is back in the chart at 30, Enrique Iglesias’ ‘Greatest Hits’ is boosted by his new single, making it to 36, and another possibly mum-fuelled purchase, Luther Vandross’ ‘Lovesongs’ compilation (originally released for Valentine’s Day) is back in at 38. In between the last two is Michael Jackson’s ‘King Of Pop’ compilation, proving that he might be able to sell out the O2 Dome 50 times over, but people are more interested in seeing a freakshow than listening to his music. Possibly.

The chart is written on Post-It Notes and stuck on the wall by The Official Charts Company

This article originally appeared in CMU Daily on 23 Mar 2009

What’s been happening in the charts, then? Well, Lily Allen is still at number one, Lady GaGa is still at number two, Kings Of Leon’s ‘Use Somebody’ has risen from 12 to three, following their performance of the song at the BRIT Awards last week, and The Prodigy have risen a few places to number four, bumping Alesha Dixon back down to five, and the Pussycat Dolls are up to number 10 from 15.

Another BRIT performer, U2, get a lukewarm vote for their shoddy new single ‘Get On Your Boots’, which enters the chart at number 12, while Lady GaGa gets ever closer to having two songs in the top ten, with ‘Poker Face’ climbing to 13, and Miley Cyrus rises from 44 to 16 with her new single, ‘Fly On The Wall’. Taylor Swift is a new entry at 22, Rudenko follows at 24, as does Gary Go at 25. On into the 30s and Honey Ryder enter at 31, and Take That’s new single ‘Up All Night’ continues it’s slow climb up the charts (while Gary Barlow prepares for a slow climb up Kilimanjaro for Comic Relief, assuming that back injury he sustained last week heals), moving from 59 to 37, which is better than it might seem, considering it’s not officially released until 2 Mar.

Over to the album chart now, and there have been some big moves there. While the BRITs did have some affect on the singles chart, it is far more pronounced when it comes to long-players. Best International Album ‘Only By The Night’ by Best International Group Kings Of Leon returns to number one, thanks to a 50% boost in sales last week. Since its release on September last year, this album has not been out of the top ten, which, whatever you think of the BRITs or the band, would seem to justify their awards.

Meanwhile, Best British Album ‘Rockferry’ by Best British Female and Breakthrough Artist Duffy also saw a massive sales boost, taking it from 19 to four. Despite what you think of the BRITs or Duffy, there is no justification for this.

Best British Group Elbow saw ‘The Seldom Seen Kid’ rise from 18 to five, while The Ting Ting’s album ‘We Started Nothing’ saw sales rise by 80%, taking it from 33 to number eight, despite them putting in an awful performance at the BRITs ceremony. The new best of album by winners of the Outstanding Contribution To Music awards The Pet Shop Boys entered the chart at 19.

But its not all about the BRITs. Morrissey, who was not nominated for anything, has been instead using the old go-on-everything technique to promote his new album, ‘Years Of Refusal’, which led to a bizarre appearance on The One Show on BBC 1. It clearly paid off, though, as the album has gone straight in at number three. The only other new entry this week is Empire Of The Sun’s fantastic debut album, which goes in at 21. There are a lot of re-entries further down the chart, though, with Miley Cyrus back in at 30, Kings Of Leon’s ‘Because Of The Times’ at 36, Girls Aloud’s ‘Out Of Control’ at 37, Adele’s ‘19′ at 38, and N-Dubz ‘Uncle B’ at 39.

The charts are apparently compiled by The Official Charts Company.

This article originally appeared in CMU Daily on 23 Feb 2009