I Eat Music

Okay, so I refused to talk about Lady GaGa last week, but she’s number one in both the single and album charts this week, so I guess I’m going to have to. For everything worth saying about Lady GaGa, see the previous sentence.

Elsewhere in the singles chart, there’s very little going on. It’s not until we get to number 17 that there’s a new entry – it being ‘Embers’, the first single from Just Jack’s forthcoming new album, which is due out in June. The next is another Jack – Jack Penate – at 23 with ‘Tonight’s Today’. Then at 28 it’s Doves with ‘Kingdom Of Rust’. Down at the bottom end, Pink steps into the top 40 from 56 with ‘Please Don’t Leave Me’, Flo Rida gets another song in the chart, ‘Sugar (feat. Wynter), at 35, and Lady Sovereign enters at 38 with ‘So Human’.

Over in the album chart there’s similarly very little going on. Flo Rida’s second album, ‘R.O.O.T.S’ is a new entry at five, then the next comes from Leonard Cohen with ‘Live In London’ at 19. Lionel Richie and The Commodores’ ‘Definitive Collection’ goes in at 23, while PJ Harvey and John Parish’s second collaborative album, ‘A Woman A Man Walked By’, is in at 25, and down at 35, Metro Station make their entrance to the album chart. On the Re-entry front, Pink’s ‘Funhouse’ is back in at 33, White Lies’ ‘To Lose My Life’ bobs back up to 37, and Nickelback’s ‘Dark Horse’ is in at 40.

The most interesting chart position this week is that of the Pet Shop Boys’ new album, ‘Yes’. Last week there was talk of them missing out on getting the number one position because the album was released three days early on iTunes, meaning that the first rush of sales did not count towards its official first week on sale. It seemed like a ropey excuse for not selling enough records to me, and any hope that the duo might sustain sales high enough to see them rise up to the top now seem dashed, as this week they’ve slipped all the way down to number 21. Maybe some sort of collaboration with Lady GaGa would help them to appeal to a wider audience. Oh wait, didn’t they…

The chart is compiled, even on weeks when its completely boring, by The Official Charts Company.

This article originally appeared in CMU Daily on 6 Apr 2009

Now, you know me, I’m not one for being cynical, but Lady GaGa was in the press a lot last week, talking about how she used to be a drug addict, how she loves being naked, how she used to be a stripper, and so on. And now her single, ‘Poker Face’, is at number one, despite it being awful. But I’m not saying those things are connected, after all, that single has been rising up the charts for weeks. It’s like the charts were in the olden days, when you could get to number one just with sheer persistence. And I guess Christina Aguilera not being around much at the moment helps, too.

Anyway, GaGa’s at number one, then Flo Rida holds fast at number two (don’t worry, I’m not about to suggest that Pete Burns suffering kidney failure has helped him, it’s just a very catchy tune), and the two Comic Relief singles, the Bryden/Jones’ cover of ‘Islands In The Stream’ and The Saturdays’ cover of ‘Just Can’t Get Enough’, drop to three and four respectively. Beyonce, meanwhile, breaks into the top ten, stopping at number nine with her new single ‘Halo’, despite it not being officially released as a single yet.

Outside the top 10, La Roux just misses out, hitting 11 with ‘In For The Kill’, as do the Pet Shop Boys, who make it to 14 with ‘Love Etc’. Another single not officially released for a few weeks yet, AR Rahman and The Pussycat Dolls’ collaboration for the ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ soundtrack, ‘Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)’, is at 20. Franz Ferdinand’s new single, ‘No You Girls’, rises from 52 to 27, though with it being featured on the new iPhone ad, I’d expect to see it go higher this Sunday (it’s certainly got itself stuck in my head). And rounding off this week’s new entries, Enrique Iglesias and Ciara stop at 30 with ‘Takin’ Back My Love’.

Over to the album chart now, and U2 have quite embarrassingly been knocked off the number one spot (and right down to number six) by Ronan Keating’s tribute album to his mother. An album coincidentally released the same week as Mothering Sunday. Mums don’t like U2, they like ballads. Everyone knows that. Which will be why Bette Midler has risen from number 21 to number nine this week, and Lionel Richie is another new entry at 10. CMU Weekly’s recent competition prize for the mums of readers, Barry Manilow’s ‘Greatest Songs Of The 80s’ faired less well, only making it to number 22 – though possibly because people were waiting to see if they’d won it before buying it, rather than the fact that Manilow’s 80s covers only serve to remind you that the originals were much better.

Probably not a new entry powered by mums is Pete(r) Doherty’s new solo album, ‘Grace/Wastelands’, which goes it at 17. You have to travel right down at the bottom of the chart for this week’s final new entry, ‘My One And Only Thrill’ by Melody Gardot at number 40, but before that there are some re-entries worth noting. Following an actually quite good edition of ‘The South Bank Show’ on Will Young, the singer’s latest album, ‘Let It Go’, is back in the chart at 30, Enrique Iglesias’ ‘Greatest Hits’ is boosted by his new single, making it to 36, and another possibly mum-fuelled purchase, Luther Vandross’ ‘Lovesongs’ compilation (originally released for Valentine’s Day) is back in at 38. In between the last two is Michael Jackson’s ‘King Of Pop’ compilation, proving that he might be able to sell out the O2 Dome 50 times over, but people are more interested in seeing a freakshow than listening to his music. Possibly.

The chart is written on Post-It Notes and stuck on the wall by The Official Charts Company

This article originally appeared in CMU Daily on 23 Mar 2009