I Eat Music

This year’s MOBO Awards take place on Wednesday at the SECC Arena in Glasgow. Always a big draw for major artists from across multiple genres that grew out of black music and culture, this year’s nominees include Beyonce, Jay-Z, Kanye West, Eminem, Herbie Hancock, Dizzee Rascal, Keri Hilson, Amadou And Mariam, Baaba Maal, N-Dubz, Tim Westwood, and many more. Here are a few of CMU’s favourites from this year’s nominations.

01: Herbie Hancock – Rockit
Okay, let’s start with a classic. Herbie Hancock is up for the Best Jazz Act award. But here’s his 1983 single ‘Rockit’, a major early influence for turntablists like Mix Master Mike and DJ Qbert. Not jazz, but certainly an indicator of Hancock’s talent as an innovator in music.

02: N-Dubz – Better Not Waste My Time
I think this is CMU’s favourite N-Dubz track. We had a meeting about it. You can’t choose these things lightly. I don’t want you think we’re just picking these things out of the air. We’re also rooting for N-Dubz in the Best UK Act category.

03: Tinchy Stryder – Never Leave You (feat. Amelle)
Tinchy Stryder’s album ‘Catch 22′ is really a lot more enjoyable than you’d perhaps expect. Which is possibly how it got a nomination for Best Album. Here’s Tinch with Sugababe Amelle Berrabah being all catchy and that.

04: Chipmunk – Diamond Rings
This video features in the Best Video category, but maybe we shouldn’t mention that, as Beyonce’s ‘Single Ladies (Put A Ring On It)’ is also in there, and I’d quite like to get through this playlist without Kanye West butting in.

05: Bashy – Kidulthood To Adulthood
Nominated in both the Best UK Act and Best Album categories, Bashy may not have the high number of nominations that some on this list have managed, but he’s picked up the ones that really count, as he further establishes himself on the UK hip hop scene.

06: Eminem – We Made You
So, breaking from tradition, the first single from Eminem’s latest album announces that he is back and then insults a load of other celebrities. Oh, Eminem, I’m not saying you’re formulaic, but I’m feeling a little bit of deja vu here. Still, if it gets you nominated for Best International Act and Best Hip Hop Act, I guess it’s working.

07: Kanye West – Gold Digger
I’m in a dilemma here. I feel like I should make some sort of Kanye/Beyonce/interruption joke here. But I kind of already made one, and those jokes were tired two weeks ago. So, what should I do? Oh, I’ve run out of space.

08: Sean Paul – Press It Up
Up for the Best Reggae Act gong, Sean Paul recently released his fourth studio album, ‘Imperial Blaze’, from which this track is taken. It’s not his best work by a long shot, but it keeps things moving along nicely enough.

09: Nneka – Heartbeats
One of ten strong contenders for the Best African Act, Nneka is currently winning the award for my favourite track on this playlist. Released earlier this year, ‘Heartbeats’ is a fantastic piece of pop. It isn’t nominated for Best Song at the MOBOs, though. I may turn up with my own handmade award to make up for this.

10: Beyonce – Crazy In Love
Any awards ceremony needs to go out with a bang, so let’s finish our MOBO rundown with a live version of ‘Crazy In Love’. If it’s a showstopper you want, Beyonce is always your woman, which is one of the reasons she can be found in three MOBO categories.

And there you have it, a brief CMU guide to the 2009 MOBO Awards. Watch all these videos here:

And for more information on the MOBOs, check out www.mobo.com.

It seems no one can keep hold of that number one spot in the singles chart at the moment. Still, Dizzee Rascal shouldn’t feel too down about only managing a week at the top. If you’re going to be knocked off the top by anyone, there are worse people than a team consisting of Jay-Z, Rihanna and Kanye West. Oh, and Sugababes, who are a new entry at number two. And David Guetta, who is at three. But fourth is still good, Dizzee. Well done.

Still, if it’s a real chart success story you want, look no further than Kings Of Leon, who are back in the top ten again with ‘Sex On Fire’ this week, at number six. Presumably this sudden leap in sales means that the track is now close to toppling Lady Gaga’s position at the top of the all-time highest download sales chart, which was only published yesterday.

Anyway, moving on. And speaking of Lady Gaga, as we were, she features on Wale’s ‘Chillin’, which is new at 12 this week. A short step down at 16, Booty Luv have another new entry, with ‘Say It’, while Jamie T’s ‘Chaka Demus EP’ is new at 23, and Friendly Fires go in at 30 with ‘Kiss Of Life’.

In the album chart, it seems that talk of chickens and dickheads was enough to keep Arctic Monkeys at number one, fending off a sustained attack from Vera Lynn. There’s something you don’t get to write very often. Yep, it looked for a while like all the kids rushing out to buy ‘We’ll Meet Again: The Very Best Of Vera Lynn’ would outnumber the more aged folk shuffling down to HMV to buy the new Arctic Monkeys album, but it was not to be. Vera did knock David Guetta down to number three, though. So that’s something to be pleased with.

At number four, it’s only those bloody Kings Of Leon again. After fifty weeks on the chart, their fourth album, ‘Only By The Night’, has jumped from 22 to number four this week. It’s probably about time they let someone else have a go. Someone like Noah And The Whale, maybe, who are this week’s highest new entry at 16. Okay, maybe not them. What about Just Jack, who’s also new at 22? Or Sean Paul at 38? Come on Kings Of Leon, get out of the chart and make space for someone else.

In fact, while we’re at it, why don’t we clear out everyone who’s been on the chart for 40 or more weeks? I’m looking at you James Morrison, Beyonce, Pink, Elbow and Abba. And Duffy. Duffy! You’ve been in the top 40 for 70 weeks now. It’s just greedy. Get out.

The charts are reported as cold hard facts and not even changed a little bit to look nicer by the Official Charts Company.

Now, obviously I’ve seen all those stories in the tabloids about JLS getting mobbed by fans, but I assumed they were some sort of joke. Or just lazy gossip columnists reprinting whatever the PR folk were telling them. But, no, it seems that JLS actually do have a lot of fans. Enough fans to not only put them at number one in the singles chart this week, but to give them the highest first week sales for a debut single this year. In fact, with 100,000 units sold, only Dizzee Rascal’s ‘Bonkers’ has sold more copies in a week than ‘Beat Again’. Who’d have thought? It also means that ‘X Factor’ has now spawned ten number one singles.

Also new in the top ten is Chicane with ‘Poppiholla’, which goes straight in at number seven, and Pitbull with ‘I Know You Want Me (Calle Ocho)’, which moves up from 13. New in the top 40 are Beyonce with ‘Sweet Dreams’, which is up from 52 last week, 3OH!3 with ‘Don’t Trust Me’, which is a new entry at 21, ‘Never Forget You’ by Noisettes, which moves from 41 to 30, and ‘21 Guns’ by Green Day, which moves from 60 to 40.

In the album chart, ‘The Essential Michael Jackson’ is still at number one, and the recently departed singer also holds the third and forth slots, as well, with Florence & The Machine at two and Lady GaGa at five. Although Jacko sales have tailed off a little this week, dropping to a still impressive 300,000 records, he still has five albums in the top ten, and while ‘Man In The Mirror’ has slipped to number eight in the singles chart, he still has 37 of the top 200 singles.

New entries on the album chart are Jack White’s new band Dead Weather at 14, the New Seekers’ greatest hits package at 17, Leonard Cohen’s greatest hits at 29, followed by VV Brown’s debut album ‘Travelling Like A Light’ at 30, and Billy Talent with ‘3′ at 35. It’s also worth noting that two Killers albums have re-entered the chart this week, with ‘Day & Age’ at 23 and ‘Hot Fuss’ at 39.

The charts are stuck on the fridge by the mum of The Official Charts Company and then thrown away when she thinks they’ve forgotten about them.

Because I hate trying to answer the question “So, what kind of music are you into?” (and because I am horrifically anal about these things), I have spent much of the last ten years trying to condense my entire musical taste down to one word.

For a while I toyed with borrowing an idea from a friend, who just tells everyone she likes ‘good music.’ But the problem is that it wouldn’t be true. I like quite a lot of really awful music. And what constitutes ‘good,’ anyway? If I say that to a lot of people they’ll automatically have me down as a fan of U2. And I can’t have people thinking that.

I’ve actually adopted the phrase, “I like pretty much anything from music hall to white noise,” in the last year or so. I think it covers most bases, despite sounding quite pretentious. But a while ago I thought I might have actually stumbled across that one killer word that would sum everything up. That word, as you’ve probably already guessed, is ‘dramatic.’

Until I collected my last Twitter-recommended playlist, I hadn’t managed to come up with a way of testing this theory (okay, I hadn’t actually given it much thought at all, but stick with me). But as all those suggestions of ’achingly beautiful’ music came flooding in, I suddenly thought maybe I could use the same method to find out if ‘dramatic’ really is the catch all word for the music I like.

Now, there are all sorts of reasons why it can’t be, not least because there is a lot of completely undramatic music out there that I love. Also, there’s plenty of dramatic music around that I don’t like – Celine Dion does drama well, but I’m never going to start liking what she does and, apologies everyone, I’m not a massive fan of Queen either. Then there’s the fact that my definition of dramatic doesn’t always line up with other people’s.

That actually makes things a lot more interesting. This could have just been a list of power ballads, but because the theme means different things to different people we’ve got a massive variety of songs. There are tracks where the drama builds through the music and/or vocals in a wide variety of ways, while in others it comes through the lyrics, like on R Kelly’s hilarious musical soap opera, Trapped In The Closet. Sometimes it’s just a general vibe. And then, just to prove that we don’t all find the same things dramatic, there are songs on this playlist, admittedly only a very small number, in which I can’t hear any drama at all.

But at the same time, a lot of my favourite songs were suggested. She Spider by Mew, Bachelorette by Björk, Après Moi by Regina Spektor, Skream’s remix of La Roux’s In For The Kill, Passenger by Deftones, Hurt by Nine Inch Nails, and Touched by Vast are all songs I know and love and would probably have suggested myself. And listening to many of the songs I didn’t already know, I had a feeling I was listening to a lot of future favourites too. So maybe there is something in this after all.

There are artists who came up repeatedly; mostly Björk and Kate Bush, who I had expected, and The Chemical Brothers, who I hadn’t. I was also surprised that only one post-rock track came up, The Birth And Death Of The Day by Explosions In The Sky. Only three songs were named more than once: Jóga by Björk, Wuthering Heights by Kate Bush and Deftones’ aforementioned collaboration with Tool and A Perfect Circle frontman, Maynard James Keenan, Passenger. A Perfect Circle, incidentally, were another band who popped up several times, getting one song from each of their three albums included. And if someone hadn’t suggested Total Eclipse Of The Heart, I think I might have had to slip it in myself.

I wasn’t put in that position, though. So my contribution is the playlist’s opening track, the stripped back version of Something I Can Never Have by Nine Inch Nails from Still. I considered going in with a torrent of hardcore, but went with this because it manages to built drama and tension with just piano, guitar and voice and gets things off to a more gentle start. Also, as Mr Reznor stormed off Twitter in a huff this week, I thought it was somehow fitting.

Going back to my original question, I think it’s fairly safe to say that it’s not possible to condense my entire musical taste down into one word. So unfortunately it looks like I am going to have to continue offering slightly confused and confusing explanations. But that’s probably a good thing. Anyone who asks you what music you like expecting to get a simple answer probably doesn’t deserve an answer at all.

You can listen to almost all of the songs listed here in this handy Spotify playlist.

Nine Inch Nails – Something I Can Never Have (Still version) (Spotify|Last.fm)
Mew – She Spider (Spotify|Last.fm)
Divine Comedy – Through A Long And Sleepless Night (Spotify)
Beyoncé – Ring The Alarm (Spotify|Last.fm)
Spandau Ballet – To Cut A Long Story Short (Spotify|Last.fm)
Celine Dion – It’s All Coming Back To Me Now (Spotify|Last.fm)
The Veronicas – Untouched (Spotify)
Ladytron – Destroy Everything You Touch (Spotify|Last.fm)
The Chameleons – A Person Isn’t Safe Anywhere These Days (Spotify|Last.fm)
Magazine – Motorcade (Spotify|Last.fm)
My Life Story – 12 Reasons Why I Love Her (Spotify|Last.fm)
Björk – Jóga (Spotify)
Bauhaus – She’s In Parties (Spotify)
Bright Eyes – Arienette
Deftones – Passenger (Spotify|Last.fm)
Devotchka – Comrade Z (Spotify)
Final Fantasy – Please Please Please (Spotify|Last.fm)
The Germs – Media Blitz (Spotify|Last.fm)
Heart – Alone (Spotify|Last.fm)
Kate Bush – Wuthering Heights (Spotify)
Clint Mansell – Death Is The Road To Awe (Spotify)
The One AM Radio – Fires
Patrick Wolf – This Weather (Last.fm)
A Perfect Circle – Magdalena (Spotify|Last.fm)
Björk – Bachelorette (Spotify)
Fat Boy Slim – Right Here Right Now
Fionn Regan – Snowy Atlas Mountains (Spotify|Last.fm)
Andrew Bird – Fake Palindromes (Last.fm)
Andrew Bird – Imitosis (Spotify|Last.fm)
Regina Spektor – Après Moi (Spotify|Last.fm)
Elbow – The Loneliness Of A Tower Crane Driver (Spotify|Last.fm)
Biffy Clyro – Living Is A Problem Because Everything Dies (Spotify)
A-ha – The Sun Always Shines On TV (Spotify|Last.fm)
Arctic Monkeys – The View From The Afternoon (Spotify)
Bloc Party – Helicopter (Spotify)
Cake – The Distance (Spotify) The
The Chemical Brothers – Leave Home (Spotify|Last.fm)
The Chemical Brothers – Setting Sun (feat. Noel Gallagher) (Spotify|Last.fm)
The Chemical Brothers – The Test (Spotify|Last.fm)
The Diamonds – The Stroll (Spotify|Last.fm)
Eels – Souljacker Part 1 (Spotify)
La Roux – In For The Kill (Skream’s Let’s Get Ravey Remix) (Spotify|Last.fm)
Johnny Foreigner – Salt, Pepa And Spindarella (Spotify|Last.fm)
Besnard Lakes – And You Lied To Me (Spotify|Last.fm)
Led Zeppelin – Since I’ve Been Loving You
Sparks – This Town Ain’t Big Enough For The Both Of Us (Spotify|Last.fm)
Kate Bush – Babooshka (Spotify|Last.fm
Explosions In The Sky – The Birth And Death Of The Day (Spotify|Last.fm)
Reparata & The Delrons – I’m Nobody’s Baby Now
Glenda Collins – Something I’ve Got To Tell You
Puccini – Nessum Dorma (Spotify)
Puccini – O Mio Bambino Caro (Spotify)
Dire Straits – Brothers In Arms (Spotify|Last.fm)
Queen – Innuendo (Spotify|Last.fm)
Alanis Morissette – Uninvited (Spotify)
Sub6 – 7th Son (Ticon Remix)
Deftones – Minerva (Spotify)
A Perfect Circle – Imagine (Spotify)
The Pink Mountaintops – Vampire (Spotify)
Fever Ray – Concrete Walls (Spotify|Last.fm)
Xiu Xiu – I Luv The Valley, OH! (Last.fm)
Foals – Titan Arum
Modest Mouse – Satin In A Coffin (Spotify|Last.fm)
Radiohead – Exit Music (For A Film) (Spotify|Last.fm)
Elbow – Mexican Standoff (Spotify|Last.fm)
Dan Le Sac vs Scroobius Pip – Waiting For The Beat To Kick In (Spotify|Last.fm)
R Kelly – Trapped In The Closet 1-13 (Spotify)
The Chemical Brothers – Saturate (Spotify|Last.fm)
Sia – Breathe Me (Spotify)
Lorraine Ellison – Stay With Me (Baby) (Spotify|Last.fm)
Scott Walker – The Cockfighter (Spotify|Last.fm)
The Monkees – Porpoise Song (Spotify|Last.fm)
Bonnie Tyler – Total Eclipse Of The Heart (Spotify|Last.fm)
Nine Inch Nails – Hurt (Spotify|Last.fm)
My Dying Bride – The Cry Of Mankind (Spotify|Last.fm)
Faith No More – Caffeine (Spotify)
A Perfect Circle – Pet (Spotify)
Vast – Touched (Spotify|Last.fm)

Thanks to all of the following, who recommended the music on this playlist and all have impeccable taste: @radioedit, @trixie, @nickpeters, @MyChemToilet, @mrstealeaves, @marshamusic, @jaimemcc, @sesp, @CaroUnLimited, @davidriley, @DanReballato, @mariusvandyk, @sus_ond, @benedit, @rebekahwalker, @KRamness, @beristwicke, @joeparry, @venpedro

Now, you know me, I’m not one for being cynical, but Lady GaGa was in the press a lot last week, talking about how she used to be a drug addict, how she loves being naked, how she used to be a stripper, and so on. And now her single, ‘Poker Face’, is at number one, despite it being awful. But I’m not saying those things are connected, after all, that single has been rising up the charts for weeks. It’s like the charts were in the olden days, when you could get to number one just with sheer persistence. And I guess Christina Aguilera not being around much at the moment helps, too.

Anyway, GaGa’s at number one, then Flo Rida holds fast at number two (don’t worry, I’m not about to suggest that Pete Burns suffering kidney failure has helped him, it’s just a very catchy tune), and the two Comic Relief singles, the Bryden/Jones’ cover of ‘Islands In The Stream’ and The Saturdays’ cover of ‘Just Can’t Get Enough’, drop to three and four respectively. Beyonce, meanwhile, breaks into the top ten, stopping at number nine with her new single ‘Halo’, despite it not being officially released as a single yet.

Outside the top 10, La Roux just misses out, hitting 11 with ‘In For The Kill’, as do the Pet Shop Boys, who make it to 14 with ‘Love Etc’. Another single not officially released for a few weeks yet, AR Rahman and The Pussycat Dolls’ collaboration for the ‘Slumdog Millionaire’ soundtrack, ‘Jai Ho! (You Are My Destiny)’, is at 20. Franz Ferdinand’s new single, ‘No You Girls’, rises from 52 to 27, though with it being featured on the new iPhone ad, I’d expect to see it go higher this Sunday (it’s certainly got itself stuck in my head). And rounding off this week’s new entries, Enrique Iglesias and Ciara stop at 30 with ‘Takin’ Back My Love’.

Over to the album chart now, and U2 have quite embarrassingly been knocked off the number one spot (and right down to number six) by Ronan Keating’s tribute album to his mother. An album coincidentally released the same week as Mothering Sunday. Mums don’t like U2, they like ballads. Everyone knows that. Which will be why Bette Midler has risen from number 21 to number nine this week, and Lionel Richie is another new entry at 10. CMU Weekly’s recent competition prize for the mums of readers, Barry Manilow’s ‘Greatest Songs Of The 80s’ faired less well, only making it to number 22 – though possibly because people were waiting to see if they’d won it before buying it, rather than the fact that Manilow’s 80s covers only serve to remind you that the originals were much better.

Probably not a new entry powered by mums is Pete(r) Doherty’s new solo album, ‘Grace/Wastelands’, which goes it at 17. You have to travel right down at the bottom of the chart for this week’s final new entry, ‘My One And Only Thrill’ by Melody Gardot at number 40, but before that there are some re-entries worth noting. Following an actually quite good edition of ‘The South Bank Show’ on Will Young, the singer’s latest album, ‘Let It Go’, is back in the chart at 30, Enrique Iglesias’ ‘Greatest Hits’ is boosted by his new single, making it to 36, and another possibly mum-fuelled purchase, Luther Vandross’ ‘Lovesongs’ compilation (originally released for Valentine’s Day) is back in at 38. In between the last two is Michael Jackson’s ‘King Of Pop’ compilation, proving that he might be able to sell out the O2 Dome 50 times over, but people are more interested in seeing a freakshow than listening to his music. Possibly.

The chart is written on Post-It Notes and stuck on the wall by The Official Charts Company

This article originally appeared in CMU Daily on 23 Mar 2009