I Eat Music

Simon Cowell has spoken out against the campaign to get Rage Against The Machine’s ‘Killing In The Name’ to Christmas number one instead of the debut single from whoever wins this year’s ‘X-Factor’. He seemed to suggest that the campaign would do little to harm him, but might upset the eventual ‘X-Factor’ winner who has worked so very, very hard to get where they are today.

Of course the cynic in me is whispering that Cowell’s outburst might be a clever ploy to generate more interest in both singles and raise a bit of extra cash for the entertainment group he works with, Sony (whose subsidiaries both released and published ‘Killing In The Name’, as well as working on ‘X-Factor’ winners signed to Cowell’s SyCo label). If that’s the case, I probably shouldn’t even be writing about this. But the teenager in me is screaming that it would be funny if Rage Against The Machine got to number one with their sweariest track. I just don’t know who to trust.

Anyway, at a press conference yesterday, reports The Guardian, Cowell said: “If there’s a campaign, and I think the campaign’s aimed directly at me, it’s stupid. Me having a number one record at Christmas is not going to change my life particularly. I think it’s quite a cynical campaign geared at me that is actually going to spoil the party for these three ['X-Factor' finalists]“.

It is, of course, fairly unlikely that Zack De La Rocha and the boys will beat the ‘X-Factor’ machine, but with more than half a million people signed up to the Facebook group where the campaign is being organised, it could give it a run for its money. Last year, a similar campaign (similar largely in that the real winners were also Sony Music and publishing company Sony/ATV) to get Jeff Buckley’s version of ‘Hallelujah’ to the top spot did result in a number two position for the song. However, Alexandra Burke’s sales of 576,000 units were just too high for anyone to hold back.

Okay, so if everyone in that Facebook group actually buys a copy of ‘Killing In The Name’, it could happen (previous ‘X-Factor’ winners have got the Christmas number one with a lot less than half a million sales). But, as anyone who’s ever done any direct marketing, or organised a guestlist, or tried to sell counterfeit drugs via spam email will tell you, they won’t. What we really need to cross our fingers for is a complete lack of interest in whoever wins the ‘X-Factor’, meaning their sales don’t get anywhere near matching those of Burke’s debut.

Speaking of the crappy pretend music competition, the celebrity guests who will perform with the finalists on ‘X-Factor’ this weekend have been announced. They are Robbie Williams, George Michael and Michael Bublé. Unless Elton John drags George Michael off to rehab before then.

The scourge of the ‘X-Factor’ is back, and this year he’s hit them harder than ever before. Last year, Peter Kay managed to get a higher chart position than the previous year’s ‘X-Factor’ winner, Leon Jackson, with a spoof single released by the spoof winner of a spoof version of the so-called talent contest. This year, he’s knocked The X-Factor Finalists off the number one position after just one week. It’s all for charity, though. So that’s fine.

Just in case you’re not following, Peter Kay’s Animated All Star Band have risen seventeen places to take the number one position in this week’s singles chart with ‘The Official BBC Children In Need Medley’, pushing The X Factor Finalists’ cover of Michael Jackson’s ‘You Are Not Alone’, which is raising money for Great Ormond Street Hospital, down to number two.

There are two new entries in this week’s singles top ten. Firstly Rihanna, who goes in at six with ‘Russian Roulette’, and secondly Susan Boyle, whose debut single, a cover of ‘Wild Horses’ by The Rolling Stones, is in at eight. Further down, Mariah Carey’s stupefying awful cover of ‘I Want To Know What Love Is’ is new at nineteen, ‘Telephone’, a random track from Lady Gaga’s re-released and expanded debut album, is in at 30, Chipmunk is new at 36 with ‘Look For Me’, while that Susan Boyle manages a second new entry at 37, with her album’s title track, ‘I Dreamed A Dream’.

Hey, and you’ll never guess what, I’m about to type ‘Susan’ and ‘Boyle’ again, because Susan Boyle’s debut album has gone straight in at number one in the album chart, having sold 410,000 copies and broken all sorts of records. ‘I Dreamed A Dream’ is now the fastest-selling album of the year so far, has the biggest first week sales for a debut album in chart history and also the fourth biggest first week sales for any artist album, behind Oasis’ ‘Be Here Now’, ‘X&Y’ by Coldplay, and Take That’s ‘The Circus’.

In fact, it’s so significant an achievement that we broke into Official Charts Company boss Martin Talbot’s house in the middle of the night and forced him to comment on it. Some would say we could have asked him earlier in the day, given Boyle’s record breaking achievements were clear by yesterday lunchtime, or we could have just taken a generic comment out of a press release, but we play by our own rules. Anyway, Talbot whimpered quietly to us: “Susan Boyle’s achievement is quite phenomenal. After all of the excitement surrounding her appearance on ‘Britain’s Got Talent’, everyone expected her to make a big impact when she released her first music – but to arrive with such a bang is exceptional”.

Moving on, Rihanna’s new album, which would normally be expected to chart at least in the top ten, ends up at sixteen in an embarrassing cluster of new entries, completed by Chris Moyles’ ‘The Parody Album’ at seventeen and ‘Harmony’ by The Priests at eighteen. Also new, and whipped down the chart by Boyle is Mariah Carey, who only makes it to 23 with ‘Memoirs Of An Imperfect Angel. Still, she’s already made enough money selling advertising on the artwork for that to not be a worry.

There are yet more new entries huddling down at the bottom of the chart, with Janet Jackson’s new best of compilation reaching 28, and UB40’s compilation of the best tracks from their three ‘Labour Of Love’ covers albums at 30, followed by The Fron Male Voice Choir’s ‘Voices From The Valley: Memory Lane’ at 31, and ‘The Very Best Of Enya’ at 32. Bringing up the rear is Britney Spears with ‘The Singles Collection’ at 38.

And that, for another week, is that.

The charts are sacred and may only be looked at directly by The Official Charts Company

The writer of possibly the catchiest piece of music ever, the ‘Addams Family’ theme tune, Vic Mizzy died at home in LA on Saturday aged 93, his manager Jonathan Wolfson has confirmed.

Born in New York, Mizzy began writing music for TV in the late 1950s, starting with the music for ‘Shirley Temple’s Storybook’. However, he had been writing songs for the stars of the day, including Doris Day, Dean Martin, Billie Holiday and Perry Como, for more than fifteen years by that point, with many of his biggest hits becoming popular while he was serving in the Navy during the Second World War.

He continued to write for TV and film right into the 21st century, with his most recent work used in ‘Spiderman 2′. But it was the ‘Addams Family’ theme tune which remained his most successful piece, both in terms of popularity and financially. Mizzy insisted on retaining the publishing rights for the song after submitting it to the makers of the show. It was an unusual move but one that proved sensible, as it has been used regularly since it was composed in the 60s, including in the 90s ‘Addams Family’ films, at basketball games played by the LA Lakers, and on a recent Tetley Tea TV advertising campaign (albeit with the lyrics re-written).

Wolfson told Billboard: “He was smart enough to demand to own the song, which was unheard of at the time. So any time you go to a Lakers game and they play that song, he made money”.

Mizzy is survived by a brother, daughter and two grandchildren. The cause of his death has not yet been announced.

There’s no better way to honour a dead person than to pretend that you can speak to them from beyond the grave on live TV, that’s what I’ve always said. All the better if you can get June Sarpong to host it. So, Sky One have really hit the jackpot for me by announcing two such events.

Set to air next month, ‘Michael Jackson: The Live Séance’ and ‘Michael Jackson: The Search For His Spirit’, will feature minor celebrity medium Derek Acorah speaking (and I use that term loosely) to the dead star.

Sarpong said of the shows: “I think viewers will find this programme intriguing and will want to tune in to see what happens. It’s the first time I’ve done anything like this but I’m open minded and can’t wait to see what Derek uncovers”.

As you can probably tell, I’m a little more sceptical than June. However, if Derek Acorah pretends to be possessed by Michael Jackson, starts talking in a squeaky voice and then moonwalks across the stage, it will be the televisual event of the decade and I will never say a bad word about him again.

Staying focused
Kristen Schaal and Kurt Braunohler talk to ThreeWeeks Features Editor Andy Malt about bringing their Edinburgh Comedy Award nominated show, ‘Double Down Hearts’, back to the Fringe

Kristen Schaal and Kurt Braunohler came to the Fringe for the first time as a double act last year, having made their solo debuts the year before, and left with an IF.comedy main prize nomination for under their belts. The show in question, ‘Double Down Hearts’, loosely centres on a fictional play about a gambling addict with a hair-lip as a hook for their intriguing line in surreal sketches, and returns to Edinburgh for a second run this year.

The pair met through the People’s Improv Theatre in New York in 2004, thanks to a shared desire to launch a new show. “I wanted to start a variety show and heard that she did too”, explains Kurt. Kristen continues, “We’d never really hung out or had a conversation before, but that brought us together and it was a good match”.

Given the synchronicity of their performance styles, I ask how they both came into comedy in the first place. Schaal seems to have arrived at it almost without noticing. “I started in high school”, she tells me. “Maybe a bit before that. When you’re younger people find out you’re funny without you realising and you just run with it”.

Kurt, on the other hand, comes back with a clearer memory of his route to the stage. “I was homeless for the first four years after I moved to New York”, he begins. “So I would tell jokes on subways and I eventually saved up enough to get an apartment. I thought it had worked well for me so far, so I just carried on doing it”.

Receiving the Edinburgh Comedy Award nomination last year was “a thrill”, says Kristen. But, adds Kurt, they were glad when the prize went to David O’Doherty. “We wanted someone from the UK to win because the difference it makes to your career if you’re in the UK is much bigger than if you’re primarily in the States”, he says. “It changes the game for David O’Doherty. It was much more useful for him and he’s a friend of ours, so it was great to see him win. I didn’t expect the nomination, but it was great to get one”.

The duo are bringing the same show back to the Festival for a second time, so you’d expect everything to be highly polished. And it should be, says Schaal, but they need to be careful not to let their tendency for improvisation get the better of them. “We’re really looking forward to doing the show again, because it was so much fun last year. We just need to stay focused and not accidentally do a whole new show”.

Kurt adds, “Once we get on started, who knows what will happen. Ideally it should be word for word the same, but we might do something new”.

This year, too, Kristen explains, they will be more prepared for what will meet them when they hit Scotland. “We perform the same everywhere”, she says. “But Edinburgh is more challenging physically, doing so many shows back to back. Edinburgh has been a bit of a test, as well. It helped us learn what American things aren’t received. And the Festival’s great because there are so many enthusiastic theatre lovers there”.

For those new to the Schaal and Braunohler experience, what should we expect from the show? Kurt has a succinct response. “This show is like if a brother and a sister wanted to have sex with each other but didn’t know it and put on a show for their town fair”, he announces with a touch of mischief in his voice.

As for their comedy influences, Kurt is equally sure. “There’s a show called ‘Mr Show’, which I don’t think has really been shown in the UK”, he starts. “It starred David Cross and Bob Odenkirk. It was on in the early 90s and is probably one of my biggest influences. People in the UK really should be watching it, especially as David Cross is known for other things now. It’s amazing. It’s straight up sketch comedy but it all flows from one piece to the next. That’s something I’ve always strived to do”.

Kristen and Kurt came to the UK earlier in the year to film a TV show of their own, a one-off episode based on their internet comedy show, ‘Penelope Princess Of Pets’, for Channel 4’s ‘Comedy Lab’, featuring guest appearances from Daniel Kitson, Julian Barratt of ‘Mighty Boosh’, and ‘Peep Show’ star Isy Suttie.

“We reworked it so the story takes place in the UK, says Kristen. “All the characters are now British and it’s set in London. But we wanted to keep the same sensibilities, keeping it fantastical, with the same jokes”.

And it was all thanks to the Fringe that it got made at all, adds Kurt. “That all happened in Edinburgh. Our producer saw ‘Penelope Princess Of Pets’ and loved it and got it to Channel 4. We shot it in May and now it’s airing in October”.

They are also developing a TV show in America, but much preferred the experience of making a programme in Britain.

“We’re perpetually working on selling a TV show in the States”, sighs Kristen, who is, of course, best known in her role as stalker-fan Mel in ‘Flight Of The Conchords’. “We have a deal, but it’s whether or not what we come up with is lame enough to fit the parameter. TV companies are lame in America. They’re very uncreative. They’re just interested in what they know will make money instead of taking risks. They want another version of ‘Two And A Half Men’, which is the top rating comedy show over here, but isn’t what we think is funny”.

She continues, “Channel 4 was a joy to work with, it was a lot more free. We hope that it’ll be a series, that would be our dream”.

Hopefully that won’t remain a dream for long. But right now, the reality of Kristen and Kurt on stage is something you should be experiencing.

Kristen Schaal & Kurt Braunohler – Double Down Hearts, Assembly/Avalon, Assembly @ Assembly Hall, 21 – 30 Aug, 10.05pm (11.05pm), prices vary, fpp69.